Can I Trust My Dreams?

So last night I had a dream that I fell in love with this professor whom I met at a friend's house. It didn't feel realistic (like some of my other dreams have been lately) but it felt like this was a precursor to my real life.

Sometimes my dreams are just plain outrageous. I had a few that were just ridiculous but enough to get me all curious if it were to happen. Such as, making out with a friend and making out with my ex-boyfriend. This took place in two to three separate dreams.

I'm intrigued...

What are my dreams telling me? Or is this just a figment of my imagination? Probably.

Goodbye September and hello October...

Change of Air

So Fall is here, and you can definitely feel the change of season.
I feel like there will be changes to come for me but I don't know how much will happen, but that's enough to move on.

My weekend consisted of:

Friday: went to Jack's Backyard with two of my close guy friends

Saturday: Celine Dion concert with mom and saw one local celebrity (pictures to come soon)

Sunday: church and becoming a mall rat with D

New Voice

I really need to set a better tone to my blog.
No more whining, no more moping and no more wondering "what ifs".

I will attempt to change my attitude, and become the confident woman I should be!

I'll grab life by its balls. Hahaha...

Betty

It's gross and sad when my baggy clothes are tighter on me now.

I'm going to the gym tonight.

On another note, I am looking forward to the season premier of Ugly Betty tonight! :D

Who needs to be a stick when you can be curvy, cute and quirky like Betty, right?

She's going to be my Halloween costume again.

More Pondering When I Am Alone

On the way back home from my tutoring session, I realized something important with my mini dilemma. Would this guy even like me back? Would it or have crossed his mind that I am interested in him? I hate this stupid push and pull game I do to myself.

Has it even crossed his mind I can be more than just a friend?

Heh.

Again, I spend too much time and energy on "love" and not on what's really needed to be worked on.

Busy Bee!

I can see why I always try to be busy. When I think too much about things I get too worked up and all these crazy thoughts just come to place. And this doesn't help with my confusion about someone. I think about the timing of breaking off a long-term relationship, healing (I don't even know if I am?), and of course enjoying the single life again. I know I shouldn't rush things either. But what if I lose that chance? Would I regret it or would time come into play?


It's all up to God, I guess. I always leave it up to Him.


I'll just enjoy life as it is right now and see where it goes.


Man, I need a steady job before I explode!

Should Have Considered Teaching Night School

I need to get used to waking up earlier than I usually do. I got my second call today around 6:20 a.m. and was able to punch in my pin number and whatnots to hear the assignment. However, there was an error when I accepted the job. I was a little disappointed but relieved at the same time. To my disappointment, I went back to sleep and woke up a couple of hours later.

It feels good to be finally getting the calls for supply teaching. But I chose the wrong profession to wake up so early and be expected to entertain adolescents who half-care of what they are doing in school. I guess that's why we get paid so much to do such a challenging job. Oh boy!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy teaching and being in school. Haha...my inner nerd is finally being used to its full potential.

I think today, I'm going for a haircut. I have some ideas, but nothing of a major change but enough to feel good with the cut. We shall see!...

Morning Rush!

I finally got a call from the board! First day of supply teaching and I arrive late. Good way to start the school year! Haha...

It wasn't my fault though. The board called 15 mins. before the school started, so I had to scramble and find the school's number to notify them that I am on my way but will be a little late. They were understanding and all went well. The day consisted of me babysitting students from Gr. 9s to 12. I instructed them of what their teacher listed in their lesson plan and I just regurgitate that. Some attitudes were exchanged from students, but of course the job comes with the territory. There were good students as well. But overall, it was a good learning experience. I am looking forward to seeing more different classes and schools. And I need to develop a thicker skin dealing with these kids. Tsk tsk...

On another note, I got a letter from 'Mac' (we'll call him that from now on which I must remember to alter his name in another post). *Note to self edit previous post* I was surprised that he would write to me considering of how our last conversation was. He was very angry and negative. But as a good friend and ex-girlfriend, I tried to be understanding. I think he just needs to be with people to distract him from his problems. So that means I will have to take him out with my friends. I'm not doing him a favour, more like I'd like to show him that I am still there for him not as his girlfriend, but as a friend.

It Runs In The Family

Here's an interesting thing I noticed about couples and how they usually (not all) repeat family patterns. If you look at the parents of the bride and or the groom, you can compare who is the dominant person in the household. Compare that to the current newly weds to see if they repeated their roles (i.e. the female is dominant or the male is the dominant person in the family).

Both my parents are very strong-willed people, so does that mean I'll end up with someone just as stubborn as I am? Haha...We shall see in about 5 or so years?

Do Nice Girls Finish Last...Too?

I was just pondering upon that statement. I know it is said more often towards the male gender, but does it apply to females as well?

I just find that with today's society, it seems girls are expected to be more aggressive towards dating and whatnot. And I have seen it and some work and some just doesn't. Call me old fashioned, but I still prefer the guy chasing the girl. I am aware this game doesn't always go into play properly because Girl Next Door could be completely oblivious or is just not interested in the guy. As for Mr. Nice Guy, he could just be shy and doesn't know how to get the girl's attention. I tried talking to guys through friends but really had no luck with going for the guy because I was too shy to really put myself out there. I tried to flirt but I think my approach is too subtle to get across that I am flirting. I seem to always revert back to my high school self and freak out when I don't know what to do with my crush being in the same room. Maybe that's why I went for online dating? It was easier for me to flirt via text because there were no physical contact at risk. Don't get me wrong, I love the physical contact. I'm the touchy-feely type of person. But I don't think I ever use that at the right time. The online dating did get me a relationship for over a year, but that's another story. (You can refer to a couple of earlier posts regarding that relationship).

So my point is, with my shyness and lack of real dating skills, what does a "nice girl" have to do to get a guy's attention? I've tried striking a conversation with someone that I find interesting, and I can dance, so if anyone asks me to dance that won't be a problem. The only thing I will never do is a one-night stand. I may joke about sexual things but sex is still sacred between partners who are in love. I have this pamphlet that I got from church that explains why everyone should wait to have sex before marriage, so I'm covered with that topic, thanks. But do I still need to wait for Prince-Charming to step in a club/bar, house party, work, and/or down the street to sweep me off my feet? Or do I just look at what's under my nose all this time?

Is it worse for nice guys just as it is for girls when it comes to finding a potential mate?

Maybe to answer my confusion is to just say what I think. As the saying goes, honesty is the best policy. But I don't take rejections really well and I'm sure the average person doesn't either. I usually do the rejecting which is easy, but not the other way around.

I don't even know why I'm already thinking about this. What's the etiquette after a break-up? How soon are you allowed to date? (This may be another topic of discussion.)

You tell me (boys or girls)...maybe you have better ways of attracting the opposite sex. Do you have rules that you go by? Give me some pointers. I'm happy to hear them from you reader(s).

The Little Prince

I remember reading The Little Prince by Antione de Saint-Exupery in high school and fell in love with it.

I found one quote that stood out for me tonight...

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other

but in looking outward together in the same direction."

Timing Is Everything

Did anyone enjoy last night's 90210 episode? I did. That show is very reminiscent of one of my other favourite shows, The O.C. It has that same vibe and drama to it.

If I could take pointers from one of the characters, it would be Silver. She's unique and direct with people. She can speak her mind and almost get what she wants. I quite enjoyed her coyness towards Dixon. I can't do that to a guy but I could take pointers from her.

As for Annie and Ethan. It is very similar to what Marissa and Ryan (from the O.C.) had going for. They could never be together for longer than two episodes (I don't know how long that is in the t.v. world) without some drama to tear them apart. And look what happened in Season three?! But that's more drama with the actor than with the characters they played.

My question is, would timing be everything to a relationship between friends? We don't necessarily know if Annie and Ethan ever dated two years before they ran into 90210, but they certainly have that chemistry that we all want with someone we're attracted to. Ethan has a history with Naomi and she's in need of a friend with her current situation at home. Annie is just confused because Ty was being a jerk and Ethan is being wishy-washy with his intentions towards her. But this is a t.v. show, I am over analyzing it because I have no life right now. Or I am just questioning my own mini drama which is really not even a drama. But it certainly makes life interesting, right?

We'll just have to see...for what will happen with Annie and Ethan of course! :P

P.S.

What he says is true...

Love Poems of Rumi

People want you to be happy.

Don't keep serving them your pain!

~ Deepak Chopra

11 Years Later

Funny thing to run into is my former elementary school principal, Mr. Hughes. I always remembered him as a Col. Sanders look-alike but minus the white suit. LOL I recognized him at Chisholm, acting as one of my Supervisors. I saw him last week but it didn't dawn on me until tonight that he was my former principal. After my teaching session, I ran into him again and asked if he was the principal at St. Francis of Assisi. If you want to make a person feel old, this would be one of them. I told him that I graduated from that school in 1997 and told him my name again as well. He politely tried to remember who I was. We talked of the teachers that were there and which teacher I had in Gr. 8.

It was actually nice to see one of the staff from that school because I did enjoy my time at St. Francis. I don't exactly keep in touch with any of the kids from that school anymore, aside from Facebook. This might be a good sign for me because his wife is the current principal of one of the schools in Clarkson. He was telling me that she had to conduct 68 interviews for a job position in her school. I did apply for that position but with the teaching positions being sparse right now, everyone is fighting for it. Mr. Hughes was nice enough to offer of updating me in terms of teaching positions. Connections are GOLD!

Antivirus XP 2008

So the remainder of my Sunday night consisted of me doing some lesson planning for my tutoring job and downloading tunes. Long and behold after stacking up on some Taylor Swift (which has grown on me thanks to some gushing from the D) and Marie Digby songs, a random message pops up on my screen indicating to me that my "computer is at risk". I have to be honest, I am not the most computer savvy and careful user as well. I download anything and everything that I think is interesting. So for a little while I thought Windows is just asking me to update my antivirus-thingamajig-program because my version is old or a 'phony'. But NOOoooooo...this stupid pop-up message just kept showing up telling me that 3080-ish files are infected and I must use the Antivirus XP 2008 program to remove these infected files. I didn't know what to do and was getting nervous/frustrated because I really didn't want to lose my files for the second time (my computer crashed just last summer). That was devastating because I lost so many picture files thanks to my carelessness.

So as any clueless user would do, I researched on how to remove this Antivirus XP 2008. I learned that it is a Trojan Virus that creeps up into your computer by attaching itself through other files such e-mail attachments, peer-to-peer, and other file sharing methods. There were numerous methods of removing the virus by either doing it manually (only do this if you know your computer inside and out) or using some spyware program that's for free. I used a program called Malawarebytes (free download at http://www.download.com/) and this will save your computer. I just did it a few minutes ago and my computer is back to normal (I hope).

I can't say stop downloading files from websites or opening e-mail attachments because sometimes you may think it is safe, but really it's not. So the lesson for today is: protect, do your research AND always back-up your computer. Take care of your computers!
(Why did that sound like a paid advertisement? lol)

It's late and I just wanted to sleep...so I will now. G'night!

Ocho

I haven't done these things for a little while now.

1) What is the most important thing in your life?
People that I love and who keeps me sane.

2) What is the last thing that you bought with your own money?
I bought two bottled waters from Timmies. I'm a big spender! Yeah!

3) Where do you wish to get married?
I was just thinking about that earlier today. (Why? I do not know) I still don't know what exactly I want but I do certainly want a church included in there but not sure where.

4) How old do you think you will be permanently owned by your love?
What a question...lol. I guess when we decide to get married?

5) Are you in love?
I was...

6) Where was the last restaurant you had dinner?
Pho Mi with the family.

7) Name the latest book that you bought?
Math Doesn't Suck by Danica McKellar (She played as Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years)

8) What is your full name?
A.K.S.A.

9) Do you prefer your mother or father?
I love them both but I can talk to my mother more comfortably.

10) Name a person that you really wish to meet in real life for the first time.
My Grandfather - Mom's side

11) Christina or Britney?
I still have hope for Britney.

12) Do you do your own laundry?
Sometimes.

13) The most exciting place you want to go?
Europe and Australia...It's a tie for me right now.

14) Hugs or kisses?
Those Hershey Chocolates do taste good. ;P

15) 8 things I am passionate about:
1. Teaching
2. Fashion
3. Art
4. Dancing
5. Making a change
6. Taking pictures
7. A successful career
8. Being happy in any situation I am in

16) 8 things I say too often:
1. That's cute!
2. That's crazy!
3. Really?
4. Sorry!
5. Thank you!
6. Awwww...
7. Okay...
8. *LOLing*

17) 8 books I've read recently:
1. Math Doesn't Suck
2. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows
3. Maximize Your Potential Through the Power of Your Subconscious Mind to Develop Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
4. The Life of Pi
5. Law of Attraction
6. Blink
7. Tuesdays With Maurie
8. Five People You Meet in Heaven

18) 8 songs I could listen to over and over again: (these are my current favourites)
1. Crush - David Archuleta
2. Always Be My Baby - David Cook
3. Who Knew - P!nk
4. Waiting On The World To Change - John Mayer
5. Realize - Colbie Caillat
6. Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
7. So What - P!nk
8. Chasing Pavements - Adele

19) 8 things I learned last year:
1. I can love and be loved back.
2. I can drive on my own in long distances. (Drinking A LOT of coffee of course)
3. Find confidence in myself.
4. Dreams can come true.
5. Shopping is a bad addiction.
6. Fights are hard to avoid...
7. ...and getting people to understand your viewpoint is very difficult.
8. Independence.

20) Tag 8 people:
You, you, you, you, you, you, you and YOU! Haha...

I Can't Think of a Witty Title

I finally got to watch the third episode of 90210 via online. Thank goodness for that option nowadays. I have to say, those kids really do have to deal with a lot of things that I am thankful I never had to go through. I know it's only t.v. but if you isolate their situations it is rather sad to see an adolescent be forced dealing with that. Even though my youth (I know I am still rather young, but you catch my drift) was rather wonderful, it was also very innocent and fun. I'm really enjoying the tension between Annie and Ethan. As always, if my own romantic life is non-existent, I live it through unrealistic people. Hahaha...oh I'm so pathetic. But hey, at least I don't seek trouble outside the bluetube or rather...the fibreglass or whatever material they use for the internet. But then again...maybe I SHOULD? Hmmm...nah, I'm too much of a damn good girl. Stupid morals...why must you almost always win?!

My family finally purchased all the furniture we need for our house from IKEA and I am rather excited it's finally all coming together. This renovation started in January while I was still living in Windsor. We can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel with this renovation. Just minor details are needed to be worked but that can be fixed whenever. The big purchase for my room was a big closet considering I once had a built-in closet. For months, I had a HUGE hole on my wall because the closet was taken out to make more room for the adjacent bathroom. So the hole was covered with just brown paper for privacy. The house is looking better and I would be more proud to invite people over. I am still undecided if I should hold my 25th birthday at my house, but we'll see...

After making those purchases, my mom, my brother and myself headed up to Kleinberg (Vaughn area) for a wedding rehearsal. It's rather a quaint 'village' which reminded me of Streetsville, but a nicer version of it. Haha... The couple (very sweet and funny ones) will be getting married in this very small church. It's the typical kind you would see in southern towns where the church is all white and surrounded by beautiful flowers. It'll be very cramped inside but we'll manage to capture the event. The photo shoot (weather permitting of course) will be done around the street area which will be awesome. It's very picturesque and candid which I always enjoy. I always do the second angle and my family knows that's what I am mostly comfortable with, because I am under no pressure taking pictures. After the rehearsal we passed by the McMichael Gallery which I was pleasantly surprised. I have only been there once back in Gr. 9 for my Art class. It is where most of the Group of Seven's artworks are held and it's magnificent to see it in one room. After seeing where it is, I plan to go back sometime this fall. According to my brother, during the fall season, the gallery looks great with the multi-coloured trees surrounding it. So it'll be a good opportunity to take pictures and be inspired by famous artists. I just need to recruit some people to go for a little trip with me. I can name a couple already. :P

That's it for now. Until then!

How to Determine If He's A Douchebag

I just stumbled upon this site called Hot Chicks with Douchebags. It's rather comical and pathetic to see all these beautiful and possibly not so intelligent girls with these...well, douchebags.

Seriously?! WHO finds this sexy in any form?!? And aren't women supposed to be showing their cleavages? I mean, I am not one who shows a lot of skin but I do the occasional modest cleavage show but that's how far I would go. But this douche is showing his massive man boobs! I appreciate that he's returning the favour but there's something disturbing about it as well. It's not remotely sexy or attractive. I just don't get people's taste sometimes. Some guys get it right and some just misses the target.

Am I being too judgemental or what?
Tell me what you think of the site as well.

1-2-3 and 5-6-7

There's nothing more exhilerating than dancing. Well, there are other things I can think of but dancing is on top of my list.

As I've mentioned before I am taking private dance lessons from an instructor. In two sessions we have covered Salsa and he just introduced the Cha-cha tonight. My mom walked in at the end where we were just reviewing all of the steps of the Cha-cha. She got really excited and asked us to perform for her. I forgot how scary it is to perform in front of my mom. Eek. After a few slip-ups from being nervous I did my best to show her what I have learned so far. She nonetheless was impressed and signed up for her own lessons. We'll be going back this Friday for her first lesson and my third lesson. I am super excited because I will no longer be moping and hoping at weddings because I will know how to do ballroom and latin dances. But of course, practice makes perfect, right? And it's a pretty darn good way to lose some weight! I can only imagine what the Dancing with the Stars contestants had to go through. But they sure made it look fun! :D

The Agony of Lovers

The agony of lovers

burns with the fire of passion.

Lovers leaves traces of where they've been.

The wailing of broken hearts

is the doorway to God.

~ Deepak Chopra

The Love Poems of Rumi

Oblivious

Have you ever realized something that you didn't notice before?

I am starting to and it's confusing me even more.

Is it worth the risk or not?

It's too soon. It's wrong...

Destination...where I started, at home.

I am going crazy just sitting here waiting for a call from the school board to take another teacher's place when they are sick. I know I have been warned numerous times that it'll take some time to get a f/t teaching job within a board, especially with the popularity of teaching nowadays. I also know that it's only the second week of school and teachers are still trying to get everything organized in their classrooms, therefore, it's not wise to be absent at this time. I am trying to be patient and pray something does pop-up.

I am also pondering if I should have done the teaching-overseas gig instead. I was pretty homesick when I was living in Windsor, which was unexpected because I really thought I could handle it. I did eventually became comfortable with the city halfway through. I just had a hard time with being away from family and friends, and not having the luxury of having them around when I needed them the most in Windsor. All is done and it was a great experience being on my own. I learned a few things about myself while I was in Windsor. I know now that I can't handle long-distance driving on my own...lol. I learned I am truly an emotional eater, hence gaining almost 20 pounds which I am doing my best shedding it off now. I've lost about almost 5 pounds so far? I learned that I really do enjoy my family's presence even at times that I need my own space. That's very contradictory but you know what I mean. I can boost my car battery now whenever it wouldn't start. I also learned that Canada is an awesome country, thanks to my OSAP (Ontario Student Assistance Program) and some bursaries that I didn't realize I would be receiving. It got me to where I am and every second of experience was damn worth it.

I look forward to doing some form of teaching with my p/t job as a tutor tonight. At least that will keep me busy every week from now until December. I'll be getting a second student hopefully next week to tutor on Wednesday nights. More money! Yesssssssss!...

I Will Remember You

Today is my Tita Myriam's 2-year death anniversary. Tita is the Filipino word for "aunt". She's really just a family friend but we considered her family. She was one of the people that helped us out when we first arrived to Canada. I had the privilege of knowing her for 13 years (we've been in Canada for almost 15 years - our anniversary is on Oct. 16th - I think?) before she passed away. And today, my Tita Diane (the younger sister of Tita Myriam) held a reception at her house.

The day started with attending a mass dedicated for Tita Myriam. Family and family friends attended, but this time it was a smaller group. Afterwards, my mom, Nanay (Tita Myriam's mother) and myself visited her grave at Glen Oaks in Oakville. At this time it was pouring so it was a little difficult just walking through the soaked grass. But luckily her site was close by so we didn't have to walk very far from the car either. We said our hellos and prayers and offered flowers. I still cannot believe that it has been two years since my aunt passed away from cancer. I still feel like she's still alive and we just haven't seen her for a little while. I still feel her presence whenever I see her immediate family and it's great warmth to know that she did leave a legacy to her family. She might night have been famous for anything, but she's famous to me because of her kindness, open heart and awesome food she always had at her house. LOL

We proceeded back to Tita Diane's house to get some lunch. She and her family prepared A LOT of Filipino and some Chinese food. It was great seeing old familiar faces and knowing that they are all getting older. Ate Rosalie (eldest daughter of Tita Myriam) is pregnant and is due in 5 weeks. ("Ate" pronounced Ah Teh - is a title we give to anyone that is a little older than yourself which you consider an older sister). I am so happy her family is growing beautifully and I hope to have a family just as happy as hers. We got to talking about boyfriends and her experience with her husband who was her only lover as well. She and my mom were able to converse on that and I just enjoyed listening to them. I briefly told her that my relationship ended because things just didn't work out between Josh and I. And of course, Ate Rosalie told me that there are plenty of fish out in the sea.

When I was with Mac, I was happy with him but there was also that part of me that was curious if there was more out there as well. Was I supposed to just end up with one guy and that's it? Before Mac, I never really dated much except for a couple of dates and that was fine. But I also wanted to see if I am capable of connecting to someone else besides Mac. I really shouldn't be writing this all out but this is my way of venting it all out because when I converse with my close friends I forget to mention certain points and I focus on the negative. I focus on his faults and why it didn't work. I think there's more to it than that. I really think Mac and I never really connected the way I had hoped for. I understood his pain and frustration in life and we connected in that aspect with our cheesy jokes, and that's where it just stopped. We never really moved beyond that. And that is where I got more and more frustrated. I always had this notion that relationships are about two people growing TOGETHER. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually developing together. That doesn't mean it's at the same pace and amount. But at least some form of growth together. It's like I was paddling with my boat and I had to drag Mac with me. He remains stagnant and puts very little effort into paddling our boats together. That was wearing me thin emotionally. It didn't help that we both don't have the same religious belief. Which to be honest, I was fine initially because I knew he did believe in A God. However, it's like we didn't see eye to eye of what God provides for us. He sees God as the enemy and I was the opposite. His family was another problem that just disappointed me. Every time I came up to visit Josh I obviously would see his family. I always get excited because a family is a way to knowing Josh's past. But with his family, communication and love doesn't seem to exist at all. This is totally opposite to what I have at home. I always felt out of place and unwelcoming whenever I came over. I don't and never asked much from his family except for a little respect, in which I didn't even receive. It scared me that if I ever married Mac I would marry the family too. I had always wanted an extended family. I am Filipino, of course it's in our culture to have large families. I like seeing people, I like keeping in touch with people and I also like to build a relationship with other families.

I need to cut this rant short for now because I could go on some more if I don't stop. The bottom line is, we were growing apart and we were starting to become two different people that were not growing together. I loved him and I still care for him. I still would like to be friends with him. But I have this gut feeling we won't get back together anymore. I believe he will eventually meet someone else as well and he will be happy with her. He taught me how to love and not to feel afraid of becoming emotionally vulnerable, and he will always have a place in my heart.

I am going to continue with this journey of finding myself in this world and find that "soulmate" that I believe I am meant to be with...

Positivity

With the last few mopey postings I've made, I think need to change up the mood. So I found some really inspirational quotes from Randy Pausch. He's a professor and an author who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He passed away just this July 25th of 2008. His last mission before he passed away was to share his wisdom of positivity all around him. In every lecture he asked his audience "what wisdom would you try to impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance?"

I just chose the ones that struck me, which was an abridged version of his "Last Lecture" talk on Oprah...

• “I don’t choose to be an object of pity.”
• “Experience is what you get, when you don’t get what you want.”
• “Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things.”
• “Decide if you’re Tigger or Eeyore.”
• “Live with integrity.”
• “A good apology has three parts: 1. I’m sorry! 2. It was my fault! 3. How do I make it right?”
• “Wait long enough and people WILL show you their good side. Be patient.”
• “Show gratitude.”
• “Don’t complain; just work harder.”
• “If you live your life the right way, the Karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.”

Breathe

BREATHE - Michelle Branch

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy
and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I dont wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say

And I Take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real

And I Give you just a little time
I, Wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe

So I whisper in the dark,
Hoping you hear me
Do you hear me?

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright if i just breathe... breathe

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain

"I LOVE, LOVE!"

Well as always, it's the only topic I could never really figure out and it seems this journal has a theme about finding love.

Carrie Bradshaw-ish type of search? I think not. It's most likely going to be a PG version.

Worn Out

This is what I felt a year and 8 months after being with you...

90210

I was able to watch most of the premier episode (2 hours long) of the new 90210. I got my friend to tape it so I can watch it again peacefully without any interruptions from my family. I know why I could never watch prime time shows because my household is just too darn busy to sit down without anyone talking louder than the t.v. Or maybe I should just get a t.v. in my room again. Yes, that's the solution.

Anywho...back to the show. Overall, I thought it was a good episode. As usual, the show is filled with good looking people, skinny bodies, amazing clothes, and of course the portrayal of the expensive lifestyle. One can only dream of marrying a rich husband and maybe attain such a life. Now let's talk about the boys, I thought Ethan and Ty were cute but I am also attracted to the teacher, Mr. Matthews. Again, I didn't really get to watch the whole show due to some distractions so I'll make a fuller analysis of the characters later on, maybe.

Mr. Matthews looking cute. You might not see it in this picture, but in other ones that I have seen, he has similar features as Edward Norton. More reasons to like this dude. :)

Annie and Ethan talking after Naomi found out Ethan cheated on her. I like this blue dress Annie wore at Naomi's party which she was "disinvinted" from. LOL

I'll do my best to watch these new and returning shows such as Ugly Betty and actually keep up with it. We will see!

The show had a good mixture of songs that I would listen to. And I was pleasantly surprised when they played one of Adele's song called "Chasing Pavements". It's a beautiful sad song.

Just A Little Bit...

I discovered this interesting song called "Little Bit" by Lykke Li.
Cute song and weirdly enough it's something I can relate to right now.
What?!? So soon???

Things are coming up Milhouse!

I finally received my employee number from my school board. I am officially employed! Now the waiting game begins...*crosses fingers for a teacher(s) to call in sick*

I have a free dance lesson from this company called Blue Heel Dance Studio in a couple of hours. They offer a free 30 mins. dance lesson from the dance instructor. I'm excited because I've been looking for a nice place that offers good dancing lessons. I hope it won't be too pricey as well. My mom will be joining me after her work just to watch. She's the one that's really been searching for a place but I'm doing this lesson on behalf of her just to see if it's worth going to. We shall see!

Is it for real?

It's September again and I felt like this summer was long but short at the same time. A lot of things had happened and I feel like I didn't do that much as well. What a contradictory season!

I'm enjoying David Archuleta's first song called "Crush". Anyone and everyone can relate to it and I'm loving it!
It's my favourite song at the moment!

CRUSH ~ David Archuleta

I hung up the phone tonight,
Something happened for the first time, deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility that you would ever
Feel the same way about me
It’s just too much .. just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized, and I just got to know

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away

Has it ever crossed your mind when we were hanging
Spending time girl, are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take
Cause I believe we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Chorus
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, try to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t going away, going away