Hello there...it's been a while!

I know I know...I've been neglecting you my good ol' blog lately. I guess I just haven't been wanting to write any words down. There have been lots of things that has happened in the past few months though. Mostly it's good things and I couldn't be more happy about it.

I'm just going to say it without being too vague or short about it.
I'm in love with my best friend! <3
I couldn't be more happy with someone that I truly care about. We have known each other for almost 9 years now. I met him when I was 17 (he was 18) and my first impression of him wouldn't make me think he would become the love of my life. I guess it took me longer to let that sink in too. I'm just happy it finally came true. :)

I'm also in the right course with my career. And I hope this will only open up to more possibilities for me in the near future.

I'm just loving life right now. :D

Are You Happy?

Last night, I attended one of my friend's 25th birthday party. And of course, I was bound to run into people I have not seen in a while which I always look forward to. As we were discussing how our lives are going, he asked me an interesting question that took me aback. He asked me, "are you happy?" I have been asked that question numerous times, but when I was asked by him it finally sunk in, am I happy?

For the most part, I am happy.

I have a good career field I have chosen, good circle of genuine friends, and a loving and supportive family.

There are also the materialistic goals that I still would like to attain, such as owning a condo/house and having a little bit more money for security purposes. As well as, finding love.

I'm 25 years old, love will come my way when it's meant to be. But for now, I'm enjoying the single life! *Cue Beyonce's Single Ladies* :P

When I parted from my friend, he reminded me to "make sure YOU ARE happy." I do and I always find the good in anything.

February Air

Today is the first day of the month of February. I survived January and is still emotionally stable...to some extent. Haha...

Much has happened to me personally and professionally, and I look forward to what tomorrow will be served on my plate.

Socratic Teaching

This is a way to divert myself from being productive by writing an entry. I'm putting together an assignment for my history student and I came upon a write-up in regards to why should anyone study history. And the author led to discussing the one of the famous philosopher, Socrates. I'll let you read the paragraph that made me ponder myself:

For Socrates, perhaps the highest virtue can be summed up in the phrase, "Know thyself." In other words, of all the things in the phenomenal world, there is not one so important as yourself. To know yourself means to be aware of what it is that makes you who you are. And in this respect, the one thing which reveals this knowledge is history. But people do not live alone, they live in society. And it is in society that the individual comes into contact with other individuals, all of whom are on the same quest, in varying degrees. So, for Socrates, knowledge of self does not hinge upon reflection or introspection, but conversation, hence the Socratic dialogue.

In that thought, life is a on-going journey that we all take on alone or along with friends and family. We search meaning in what we do and with the people we have or had relationships with. Everyone will always ask the rhetorical question, what is my purpose in this life?

I'm always searching my purpose, my meaning in life and who I truly am...

In Limbo...

It has been a few weeks since I last updated. I got busy with my new part-time teaching gig. All I can say it has its ups and downs. But for the most part, I get to teach even though I'm always nervous that I'm not doing a good job. The feeling of being watched over by my associate teacher still lingers thanks to teacher's college. But this time I am on my own with a student. My own 'class' my own rules. I should just take it one day at a time and learn from this experience.

The month of November has been odd. Family and work has been frustrating. Love is none existent. Crushes are there which causes confusion as always. I only say that because of the consequences that could happen. Friends are wonderful and annoying. Haha...

What else...?

Oh, I'm turning 25 in 6 days.
Big changes have happened in my life but why do I still feel like I haven't made that much accomplishment?...

Heartless

Heartless from kwest on Vimeo.

Kanye West - Heartless


I need to back off and focus on what is important; finding a full-time teaching job.
I've been pondering about some things and I really need to get my act together. I have a new car now which is the tool that will get me to places (literally). But now, it's only up to ME to get me there.

No more excuses! I know there is a job for me out there.

Things can only go up...

More Pondering When I Am Alone

On the way back home from my tutoring session, I realized something important with my mini dilemma. Would this guy even like me back? Would it or have crossed his mind that I am interested in him? I hate this stupid push and pull game I do to myself.

Has it even crossed his mind I can be more than just a friend?

Heh.

Again, I spend too much time and energy on "love" and not on what's really needed to be worked on.

Should Have Considered Teaching Night School

I need to get used to waking up earlier than I usually do. I got my second call today around 6:20 a.m. and was able to punch in my pin number and whatnots to hear the assignment. However, there was an error when I accepted the job. I was a little disappointed but relieved at the same time. To my disappointment, I went back to sleep and woke up a couple of hours later.

It feels good to be finally getting the calls for supply teaching. But I chose the wrong profession to wake up so early and be expected to entertain adolescents who half-care of what they are doing in school. I guess that's why we get paid so much to do such a challenging job. Oh boy!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy teaching and being in school. Haha...my inner nerd is finally being used to its full potential.

I think today, I'm going for a haircut. I have some ideas, but nothing of a major change but enough to feel good with the cut. We shall see!...

Morning Rush!

I finally got a call from the board! First day of supply teaching and I arrive late. Good way to start the school year! Haha...

It wasn't my fault though. The board called 15 mins. before the school started, so I had to scramble and find the school's number to notify them that I am on my way but will be a little late. They were understanding and all went well. The day consisted of me babysitting students from Gr. 9s to 12. I instructed them of what their teacher listed in their lesson plan and I just regurgitate that. Some attitudes were exchanged from students, but of course the job comes with the territory. There were good students as well. But overall, it was a good learning experience. I am looking forward to seeing more different classes and schools. And I need to develop a thicker skin dealing with these kids. Tsk tsk...

On another note, I got a letter from 'Mac' (we'll call him that from now on which I must remember to alter his name in another post). *Note to self edit previous post* I was surprised that he would write to me considering of how our last conversation was. He was very angry and negative. But as a good friend and ex-girlfriend, I tried to be understanding. I think he just needs to be with people to distract him from his problems. So that means I will have to take him out with my friends. I'm not doing him a favour, more like I'd like to show him that I am still there for him not as his girlfriend, but as a friend.

11 Years Later

Funny thing to run into is my former elementary school principal, Mr. Hughes. I always remembered him as a Col. Sanders look-alike but minus the white suit. LOL I recognized him at Chisholm, acting as one of my Supervisors. I saw him last week but it didn't dawn on me until tonight that he was my former principal. After my teaching session, I ran into him again and asked if he was the principal at St. Francis of Assisi. If you want to make a person feel old, this would be one of them. I told him that I graduated from that school in 1997 and told him my name again as well. He politely tried to remember who I was. We talked of the teachers that were there and which teacher I had in Gr. 8.

It was actually nice to see one of the staff from that school because I did enjoy my time at St. Francis. I don't exactly keep in touch with any of the kids from that school anymore, aside from Facebook. This might be a good sign for me because his wife is the current principal of one of the schools in Clarkson. He was telling me that she had to conduct 68 interviews for a job position in her school. I did apply for that position but with the teaching positions being sparse right now, everyone is fighting for it. Mr. Hughes was nice enough to offer of updating me in terms of teaching positions. Connections are GOLD!

Destination...where I started, at home.

I am going crazy just sitting here waiting for a call from the school board to take another teacher's place when they are sick. I know I have been warned numerous times that it'll take some time to get a f/t teaching job within a board, especially with the popularity of teaching nowadays. I also know that it's only the second week of school and teachers are still trying to get everything organized in their classrooms, therefore, it's not wise to be absent at this time. I am trying to be patient and pray something does pop-up.

I am also pondering if I should have done the teaching-overseas gig instead. I was pretty homesick when I was living in Windsor, which was unexpected because I really thought I could handle it. I did eventually became comfortable with the city halfway through. I just had a hard time with being away from family and friends, and not having the luxury of having them around when I needed them the most in Windsor. All is done and it was a great experience being on my own. I learned a few things about myself while I was in Windsor. I know now that I can't handle long-distance driving on my own...lol. I learned I am truly an emotional eater, hence gaining almost 20 pounds which I am doing my best shedding it off now. I've lost about almost 5 pounds so far? I learned that I really do enjoy my family's presence even at times that I need my own space. That's very contradictory but you know what I mean. I can boost my car battery now whenever it wouldn't start. I also learned that Canada is an awesome country, thanks to my OSAP (Ontario Student Assistance Program) and some bursaries that I didn't realize I would be receiving. It got me to where I am and every second of experience was damn worth it.

I look forward to doing some form of teaching with my p/t job as a tutor tonight. At least that will keep me busy every week from now until December. I'll be getting a second student hopefully next week to tutor on Wednesday nights. More money! Yesssssssss!...

Friday?

It's been a week since I've been working from my tutoring job. The new school year starts next week and a new career path begins for me. I haven't really reflected back that much of what had happened over the past year because I feel like I need to always be on the go. I guess this would be a good time to do it now considering I am writing about it.

There were a lot of ups and downs that had happened during my teacher's college year, but in the end I took it in as an experience for my personal and also my professional life. I never really noticed it until someone told me, but I did grow up a little bit more. It was the independence that I needed to experience and it showed me that I am capable of taking care of myself. I had a good close knit of friends that I made at school who were also on the same boat as me. And of course my friends from home to remind me that I am not alone in this journey. It also made me appreciate how much I missed my family's presence as well. And in a sense, I became a little bit closer to my family as well.

I developed a greater respect for teachers and educators in general. Teaching is not a joke. I actually enjoy teaching in general and not just for Art anymore. And I say this all the time, but if I went back about 10 years ago and saw myself now, I wouldn't believe it for a second. I was always (still is) the shy, quiet, polite girl who just sat on her chair and dreaded doing public speeches. But at the same time, I needed to conquer that fear being in front of a crowd. I have a faced a few other fears when it came to teaching. And everyday, I am developing the confidence that I always wanted to have, which I saw in the other great teachers I've had in the past.

I embrace the challenges that teaching will throw at me and face it with a smile and determination. And I look forward to what else will unfold for me in other aspects of my life...